JusMare

life...

Sunday, July 23, 2006


Hellooooooooo...holy crap has it ever been a long time since I've been on here.
I'm sure all of you (no one) are just DYING for updates on my family and life but I'll save that for another time. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day.
What I really want to talk about is how much I see 'Half Nekkid (insert day)' on the web and how much I am longing to take part in it. It would be fun and maybe even make me feel good about myself for the first time since I had my daughter. Yes y'all, even moms can be sexy! But alas, I don't think it would be appropriate...BOOOOO!! I know what you're all thinking, "oh thank God, keep your clothes on", but to be honest it would have been nothing more than a neckbone here or belly shot there.

Saturday, January 07, 2006



This has been the scariest and most wonderful time of my life. How something so incredibly terrifying can be so unbearably beautiful at the same time will amaze me for the rest of my days. I love you with my entire soul Sophia, for today and always.

Monday, August 29, 2005

just wanted to update the few of you who actually read this (if anyone still does) on Sophia and the rest of my awesome fam...not too much to say, i think her beautiful pics say it all...


mommy and daddy dress me up like a boy and laugh at me while I play with my friends Winnie and Tigger

I don't actually like the flames, but my daddy does (I'm a Leafs fan all the way!!)

My favourite place in the world is nestled up in my mommy's milk engorged boobs!

day at the beach!

"stop the huggin...just hurry up and feed me!"

this is mommy and daddy...

they even let me play x-box already!

my daddy's gonna have his hands full with me!

me and momsy

...again

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Meet Sophie!

My little princess was born June 1st 2005 weighing 7lbs 1/2oz
but lets start at the beginning...

Pictured above is me wanting to die...my water broke on Monday May 30 and I didn't have Soph until 37 HOURS LATER!! To all those women who tell you that childbirth isn't that bad and it doesn't hurt that much...you lie

this is me during a contraction, not pictured is Adam's hand all blue and battered. After approximately 25 hours I expected the doc to tell me that I was 7 or so cm dialated but to my horror I was only 2 1/2 cm and decided on (threatened death for) the epidural.

notice the difference?

this is Sophie's first picture...at this point I hadn't held her and wasn't thinking about much other than "how the hell did that come out of me??" that and I still had all that other yucky stuff to deliver...(not pictured)

this is the love of my life holding the other love of my life...look how proud he looks! ::tear::

My turn! she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

this is Sophia's first nap on Mommy's chest in the hospital...now that is the only place she'll sleep at all

this is the cutest picture we have of her, in the hospital next to daddy

On our way home from the hospital...is it just me or does she resemble Yoda in this picture?

This is my angel after her first bath...

You know it's funny how much you think you know what love is when you haven't had a child...don't get me wrong, i love Adam with all my heart but it is nothing compared to the love I fell for Soph. I wake up every morning loving her more and more and I don't believe I have enough room to love her more until I wake up again...

Friday, May 20, 2005

Almost Time!!


this is me at 7 months...barely showing (maybe thats bcs i'm not facing to the side) but none the less i've become a heffer since...

this one is juat a week or two ago
June 7 is the big day so that makes it 18 more to wait. I have a feeling it'll come early bcs there really is no more room for him.
Since my last post so much has changed...i've fallen so much more in love with Adam, we got an apartment which is not exactly done but the baby's room has been since day one, and i've grown up lie i never thought i would have.
It's so true when people tell you that things will just fall in place and be ok, things are more than ok. I'm with my best friend and in nearly 2 weeks i get to meet the beautiful baby i've been dreaming about for 9 months.

Of course not everything is perfect...there is a lot of worry and stress that comes with all of this but with Adam beside me I have no doubt that everything will work out just fine.
I doubt that i'll be able to post again before the baby, but you better believe that this page (or a new one which i will tell you about) is gonna be overloaded with baby pics within a month or so!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Been a While!



so there he is...I call the baby "he" because it just comes more naturally than "she"
I don't know if its the proud mother in me talking but I can already see the beginning of the most beautiful, perfect, special baby this world will ever see.

It's been two months since I've updated you guys and so much has happened in this time. I have not only accepted this pregnancy but there is barely anything I can do to relax and wait patiently for this baby to come. Of course I'm scared, Ive never been so scared in my life...but I don't think I'd be a good mother unless I was worried about making everything absolutely perfect for this baby and my new family.



Adam is the perfect man, he's my rock, I could not have picked a better father. We are moving in together soon, just as soon as my school is done but in the meantime he is with me everyday. Has your mother ever told you that when you meet that person you just know? well I grew up with the fantasy of this perfect man coming and sweeping me off my feet. Adam is definitely that man, although we're doing everything quite backwards it is still going to work for us and I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect.

The ultrasound at the top really doesn't do the baby justice. It looked much more human at the appointment. It's adorable little legs and arms kicking and wailing about. Now not only have I heard my baby's heart beat, but I've seen it. And I have a feeling everything will be perfect.

Soon I'll post some pics of my growing belly, it's just really not so noticeable just yet. Looks much more like the remnants of a big lunch, but within a couple of weeks it will be bigger and badder and I'll post.

Friday, November 12, 2004

The bars on the window seem so cold and the foggy glass barely lets in any light.
The only breeze coming through here is that of the children as they run past the office doors.
Not much goes on here during the day. The older children are at school, most of the moms work, and the other kids spend most of their time upstairs.
When I'm in at 8:30am, I sit here and think, read, write, but mainly just listen.
When the kids get home and the moms come out it gets pretty busy.
The moms don't like to talk to us child/youth counsellors much, maybe they think we'll start asking the kid questions, maybe they have something to hide, whatever it is, it's nice when one of them decides to talk to us.

"he gets out of jail tomorrow you know"

"I've heard, how do you feel about that?"

"my kids miss him, they haven't been saying much"

"are the kids aware of why you had to leave?"

"they get to have friends now, thats all they know"

"have friends?"

"ya they've never had any, never really left the house, they weren't allowed to talk much either"

"he was afraid they'd tell someone?"

"I think so, I think they're still scared to talk"

"tell me what it was like a day in your house..."

::she looks relieved::

It only takes a few minutes to let someone vent. Hard when you don't know what they'll say, or what you can say to help them through it.
Truth is that sometimes you don't have to say anything, just listen.
When I first started counselling class I was so nervous. They taught us the proper way to say hello, the proper way to sit, and how to push all of your own personal feelings away and not judge.
Intimidating is not even the word for it, someone would eventually sit infront of me with their life in pieces expecting me to fix it. This day hasn't come yet, probably because I look so young...if i were in trouble, some young girl is not exactly the first person i would turn to.
The children turn to me though, they tell me all their darkest secrets, the ones that no one else knows. Stories of being scared, being hurt, seeing their family get hurt. They talk so freely, some of them. Like they don't really know the magnitude of their words, like it happened to someone else.
A lady is sitting outside the office with her daughter right now, maybe she needs to talk...