Tuesday, March 30, 2004


So I'm now beginning to realize that I am no longer in a relationship.
At first it felt like a dream, like I was gonna wake up and be with 'him' again
Now I've gotten past this mental rut and have actually started feeling pretty good about my life.
I don't need a guy to feel needed or wanted.
Although I really don't understand what everyone loves so much about being single...
I'm gonna try and have fun with it :)

Look Beyond...

Look beyond what irritates you and you'll find those things that empower you.
Look past what frustrates you and begin to uncover what drives you.
Look beyond what worries you and you'll discover what inspires you.
Look beyond what frightens you and you'll see what strengthens you.
Look beyond what angers you and you'll see what teaches you.
Look beyond what saddens you and you'll see the things that bring you joy.

If we refuse to look beyond what what we can see, then we will never see what it feels like to know ourselves.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Where are all the Adams??

Average Joe...what a great show!
In the most recent season of Average Joe, they put the 'not so average' Adam as the bachelor looking for love. Now most would think Adam to be an everyday guy on the exterior, but all is not just what the eyes can see.
Adam is extremely sexy in his own way, he is sweet, caring, empathetic, and rich (not that it matters).
I would be his Eve anytime.
As the show went on, 5 extremely good looking girls joined the show. The main reason for this was to spoil the show for the other 15 girls already catching Adam's eye. As they walked in, a feeling of guilt and sadness came over Adam, not a feeling of physical excitement as would any other man in his place. He then went and talked to the producer and insisted that the 5 super gorgeous bikini models be sent home on order to spare the feelings of the other 15 girls.
As they were being escorted out one of the models yelled out that Adam was the type of man she wanted.
Adam is now my dream man and if he ever reads this (not likely) I would like to propose marriage.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Creepy at 6

Creepy at 6

As I get older I think to myself..."How can so many ppl be so out of touch with what life is really about?"
Society now has a distorted conception of what pain really is...
How can we be so upset about how we look or the break up of a relationship when there are so many ppl out there dealing with the pain of losing a child or not knowing what they will feed there children daily.
I volunteer at an agency that helps ppl with developmental disabilities gain the knowledge and training to join the rest of us in the workforce.
Now I say the 'rest of us' bcs that is the impression imposed upon those with disabilities as they try to gain the title of 'normal' from society.
Now can someone please tell me what 'normal' is exactly?
If the 3% of people with disabilites suddenly became 97% and we then were part of the minority,
who then would be normal?
Imagine being 6 yrs old forever stuck in an aging body,
forever in the relentless pursuit of the maturity insisted upon us with age.
I remember being 6, the world was a happy inviting place,
everyone wanted to be my friend and I theirs.
But now that I look like a 50 yr old but still the mind of a 6 yr old,
I am Creepy
How ridiculous our mindsets are...

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Saturday Night

Saturday night was a night not soon to be forgotten.
J-Mo came down to my place, I promised him a fun night on the town.
It was not only fun...but insane
We started out at my house drinking.
Two friends of mine came down that night too, Melissa and Holly.
We headed to the club after a while
and there were some friends of our ex bfs.
Holly and I's exs are best friends so we expected to run in to them.
They weren't there, but when another of our friends asked where they were,
we found out that they were 'alledgedly' out with other girls
This angered Holly, and I didnt care for the situation but it wasn't gonna ruin my night. Plus, we were broken up and there was nothing I could do.
After the bar, we decided to head down to where we knew they would be bcs Holly just wanted to talk to Rick and see what was going on.
I admit I was not opposed to the idea at all either.
When we finally found our drunken way to the house, Rick would not come out.
Melissa and Holly knocked on the door for about a 1/2 hour, but no one would talk to them.
At this point J-Mo and I were in the car waiting,
I was not about to knock on any doors at 5 am, all I wanted to do was go home to bed.
They stormed back to the car and announced that they would not leave until he came out, they would do whatever it took.
An angry ex girlfriend is something to beware of
To all men reading this, if we are not crazy before we meet you, you certainly drive us there eventually.
What came next was something I have never seen before.
The next thing I know, Ricks tires were being slashed
We could not believe what was happening as we sat in the car.
Every one makes choices, everyday, although some of these are more crucial than others ,
and at every point where a choice is made,
another choice is not,
and if our life is defined by the choices we have made,
it is also haunted, at least in moments of thoughtfulness,
by those that weren't.
The police were called after J-Mo and I were dropped off and a fine of $500 was made to the slasher.
I now know what love can make a person do, seeing it first hand
and I hope that my future 'whatever' never drives me to the point of near insanity as in this case.
The slasher is a great girl, and without the horribly bad influence that this guy inflicted on her,
would not have done something this careless.
Love shouldn't drive ppl to want to hurt eachother.
Rather, do anything to make the other happy.

tell me a story...

Every child, and the child in every one of us,
is ready to plead:
Tell me a story.
For the role of stories is to explain life,
and the good stories,
in their very substance and in the structure of their language,
become revelation.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004


2 hrs and 45 minutes till the bar
i've been drinkin since 7
i would have started earlier but school got in the way
fuck school
"Ur Spanish, why celebrate St. Pats?"
7 ppl have said this to me today
I like to drink and today is just another excuse to get drunk and hang with ppl who have the same philosophy as myself
I'll take it...

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

First post, bare with me. My friend J-Mo got me hooked on blogs and after reading what seems to be THOUSANDS of them, I have decided to post one of my own (with his help of course).

Ok so my name is Mare and today is a snow day. i have absolutely nothing else to do other than sit here and dick around on the computer.

A little about myself:
- i live in a student house with 5 other chics. Although it might sound as though there would be way too much drama (well there is), it's totally fun and crazy
- i'm 19 soon to be 20
Ya thats about it, nothin else seems too important right now

Countdown to St Pattys day - 1
I'm not sure what we're doin exactly but i do know that the next day will not be a pleasant one.
St Kitts isnt exactly a party town but with just the right mixture of friends and excessive booze its sure to be a great one

And will someone please tell me why chics insist on wearing green shirts on this holiest of occasions? All I know is that I will NOT be walking around lookin like a drunk booger.