JusMare

life...

Thursday, April 29, 2004


I Love You Forever, I Like You For Always
As Long As I'm Living, My Mommy You'll be

Happy BDay Mama!!
(isn't she gorgeous!?)

Monday, April 26, 2004



Went to Church today
It's funny how many things fall into place as u are sitting in those seats
Not only do u feel good about yourself after being there, but you feel good about everyone else you went there with
of course there are those times that the parents drag u there and its the last place you want to be after a nite of debauchery
but it all seems very worth it when there are those times that u feel something...
u feel His presence, and all seems well for those 45 minutes.
Today was one of those
i've been going lately with the family but never got the courage to take communion (not wanting to be sacriligious)
i took communion today
and for the first time i cried all the way back to my seat
not bcs i was sad, not bcs i was anything other than grateful
and not bcs i had taken communion (well ya)
but bcs everything in my life that i've been worrying about seemed so damn meaningless
there was this boy...he went to school with me...his mother wheeled him up the aisle bcs he had lost the use of his arms
the pope was here this summer, he went to go see him, when he got face to face with him he broke down, his picture was in the newspaper
if someone who has so little can have so much faith, then what the hell am i so worried about
just have faith

Friday, April 23, 2004


Me and the Best

Thursday, April 22, 2004

now this is funny...

Subservient chicken

I love it how stupid little bitches talk so much shit but i can't say anything bcs you 'promised' not to tell me who told you
die
i figured that all of that shit would be done and over with once i came out to college and grew up
but of course not
i neglected to think that everyone else in the fuckin world is still fuckin 9 yrs old
just blowin off some steam, seems as though i've been doin that a lot lately since the ex came back into the picture
i'm usually a nice girl...promise
i've reached a decision
i'm gonna stop worryin so much about petty shit and live my life the way i want
no more guys=no more worries

Sunday, April 18, 2004

Don't change your ways for someone who is not willing to change theirs...

Ok so recently the ex and I have been talking
He's been ok up until tonite. I called him around 9pm and he told me that he was going to bed, he was tired.
He was working at 5:45am so I understood,
after a nite of drinking with the family (for my bday),
I decided to call and leave a message telling him that I hoped he had a nice day at work and that I was glad everything was working out between us.
The FUCKER answered his phone (not checking who the call was from) and hung up when he heard my voice.
Not only were there ppl in the background, but there was music, very loud music.
All i wanted to do was leave a nice message,
and now he won't answer my calls, i refuse to block my number bcs thats just immature.
honestly mike if you are reading this i hope that one day you realize what you lost
and also what you are... hopeless
the last eight months of my life i've tried to make u happy and change your ways
but nothing helps
i hope you find someone to spend your life with that makes you as miserable as you have made me bcs
i've done nothing but tried to please you and now i know that you are a waste of my time.
this may sound pretty over the top for the situation, but if you knew what i have been through for the last little while then you would understand. sorry for the blabber but i had to get it out.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

What a Birthday...

Day after my bday and not feeling so dandy
I don't think I was left without a drink in each hand at all last nite
If I could just get a damn webhost then I could put up some pics I took
J-Mo's gonna have to help me with that.
Although u can check out the 'Moose and Goose' website for some really ugly and drunken pics of us if u want.

I'd also like to apologize for all of the drunken rude things I said to the ex last nite...Ouch

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Not the greatest bday weekend but im sure next weekend will be better...
this weekend I celebrated with a few friends, but next weekend is my actual bday party. It's an entire Bday week and I LOVE IT!!
Thanks to J-Mo and Nico for a good nite.

Ok so lately I've been a little bummed out... not exactly sure why
It may be that im turning the big 2-0 and i'm being forced to grow up.
My bday has never been depressing but this one is different...
I'm definitely gonna need one of those happy pills Jen!!

My dad sent me an email a short while ago and it really made me reflect on whats important, what to hold on to, and what things in my life need to be changed.
I'd like to share this with u guys...

Positive Pause

Ok so it might seem a little corny to some of u but if u really concentrate on what its about, it helps...

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Went out for drinks last nite with the ex (oh no another blog about the ex)
It actually turned out to be a good nite
J-mo stopped by the bar to begin his debauchery, along with Pete
I was so happy to see them, although that could have been the drinks
I had sooooo many of them, but I waited until 12 am to get drunk
I felt bad drinking on Good Friday, the main reason being that as Jesus is dying on the cross for our sins I'm out partying
So after 12 the debauchery began... I feel like shit today
I'm going out b-day shopping today with my mom and I'll be forced to try on clothes when I'm still bloated and gross from the nite before (nice mental picture)

Oh ya and I just want to thank J-mo for posting on here, it was an awesome post and I too am lucky to have him as a friend.


Thursday, April 08, 2004

Awww J-Mo!!

Mare asked me to write something for her site today. I guess shes having problems keeping up with updating once a month. Whatever it may be I felt honered to be a guest of her pink palace. NO NO not THAT pink palace, although a journey there would probably be pretty fun too. Im talking about her blog.

The first question that I had to think of was...what the hell am I going to write about? What would deem appropriate and sufficient and stuffed with excitement and interest? William Hung? No that Chinese idiot has been covered enough and although I do like laughing at the misfortunes of others, I feel his 15 min of fame were up three months ago.

But what then ...

What could I discuss that would interest both Mare and I ...

Our Friendship. I could discuss our friendship and how fortunate she is to know me. OK theres not too much to write on the fortunate side, but I could still discuss it.

Ive known Mare for about 3 years now give or take a couple years ...my memory isnt that good, and I am glad that I have made her one of my closer friends. Im also glad that as a friend we kept it that way, as having a friend of the opposite sex can be a rarity. I think my metrosexuality has allowed me to take on many a female friend with only having a few instances where things how do you say ...slipped. Ok lets be honest, besides Nico and Mare Ive ended up fooling around with almost every one of my female friends, so when going into this friendship my track record wasnt looking to good.

We have done very well though, even sleeping in the same bed together on an occasion without any mishap. I think that is the test in every friendship whether or not you can resist sleeping in a bed with someone. This is usually to hard for the couple involved and leads to some sort of naughty act. I also think that this holds true when two females sleep in a bed together and within moments panties are being torn off with teeth and ...OK maybe we will save my lesbian fantasies for another post.

I get along great with Mare because we share a lot of the same interests. We both like to party ...umm ...ok we have partying in common. Is there really anything more you need then that... Thats basically it. We know that if were bored we can get together and a party will form a line behind us. Debauchery will follow.

Sex appeal. There is of course sex appeal. Im not sure how that helps our friendship, but I guess me finding her sexy makes me want to continue to hang out with her. We will go with that.

I think if I had to pick a moment as to which I realized I loved this girl was when after a heavy night of drinking at Hess I ended up back at her house to be presented with one of the largest and best tasting steaks Ive ever had. I mean seriously. How could you not love a girl that cooks you steak at 3am.

Basically to sum up this jargon that Im typing in between serving members of my Credit Union is that Mare is an awesome person. To think the male population is allowing this female to run around the world single is beyond me.

Shes a Party Girl, has the personality and is stunning to look at it.

Thanks Mare, for the space to let you all know.

J-Mo

ok so no more posts about the x
at least i'll try
on a lighter note im goin out with j-mo tonite so we'll have lots to post about tomorrow or monday
have a good long weekend!!

Never Again...

Never again will I go within 10 feet of a guy without knowing absolutely everything there is to know about him.
They seem just great the first 2 months, but then the real them starts comin out.
The manipulative, deceitful them surfaces.
Another question I have to the male gender is:
Why do u insist on not seeing what is right in front of u???
Why do u have to lose us to realize how much u want us?

Ok so M*** and I broke up about a month ago and we still talk everyday and he tells me how much he loves me, how much he wants to be with me, and that he just needs me to wait around until he's ready...
WAIT!??!?!?
Like what the shit is that??
does he seriously expect me to wait around for him when I am still hearing that he picks up other chics and then lies to me about it?
I try to open my mind to other guys but everytime i do i see the face of every ex i've been with and i wanna run away screaming...
I dunno...
I refuse to believe that u are all this way but this belief is getting to the breaking point...