Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Faith is the ability not to panic.
the days that follow the death of my grandmother have surfaced questions I previously had the answer to
how is it that we just blindly believe in something after this lifetime?
Thinking of myself as a devout Catholic these intrusive thoughts have been poking at my mind and heart
how is it that so many people don't worry or think about what is waiting for us?
Is it that they don't worry?
or that the subject is too vast and incomprehensible that they refuse to accept the inevitability that is their death.
In these pensive moments I have compared faith to a child's Santa Claus
something that is so great and comforting that we refuse to not believe until we are forced to
Could heaven be our Santa Claus?
Might we be forced to see the truth only in our passing?
These thoughts hurt me for one reason...
I want to believe in the afterlife, I've been brought up to believe in that something more.
Yet why these questions?
Maybe the tough spots in our lives call us to reevaluate our lives and beliefs
Maybe it is meant to ultimately strengthen our faith
God grant me the ability to feel the things I do not understand and believe in you when I cannot see.


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