Monday, July 19, 2004

My weekend started off really well...Adam stayed the night Thursday and we sat around drinking wine. Friday night some friends came up to St Kitts to visit me, oh the debauchery. Saturday night did not go so well.
Let's start at the beginning...Jen couldn't come up on Friday so we promised to hang out the following night.
10 o'clock came around as the cab pulled up to the house to bring us to Hess. It was just Jen and I and we were meeting her boyfriend and a few of his friends for some random's birthday. The night started off pretty shitty as i tried to drown my boredom with tequila and rum and cokes. As I got more liquored up, the night seemed to look up a bit. A guy whom we will call 'Adam', actually thats his real name, but it's not my Adam, another asshole, was constantly in my vicinity. Asking me questions about my boyfriend and trying to dance...like honestly get a clue bud, there's no chance
the night eventually came to an end and I wanted to go home. I called my Adam wondering if I could go to his house but he was too tired...understandably so
So I ended up at Jen's boyfriends house passed out on his futon.
When I fell asleep the futon was still sitting like a couch and the guys had left.
When I woke up the futon was pulled out and pervert face was trying to put his hands down my pants.
no joke
I immediately jumped up and fuckin flipped out...ran into Jen's room and demanded to be taken home
I think the worst feeling in the world is feeling like you've been taken advantage of, sexually I mean
I'm not exactly sure what was going through his head and I don't really care
How low of a human being do you have to be to make someone else feel that way...unforgivable...rot in hell
I told Adam the next day about what had happened and his reaction was not very comforting
He was accusatory, he told me that these things wouldn't happen if one didn't put themselves in those situations...which I completely agree with.
I know I shouldn't have been there but I had no way of knowing something like that would happen
He's not mad at me anymore...just upset at the situation
Got home from work today and there was an email from the drunken pervert
it read: 
I am writing to apologize for my actions this past Saturday night.  What I did was shameful, disreputable, and unconscionable and I cannot explain nor defend my behavior.  Despite the fact that my level of intoxication may have impaired my judgment, I refuse to use this as an excuse for my behavior.  I assure you that it was something completely out of character for me and for that reason I remain embarrassed, humiliated, and disgusted with myself, so I can only imagine how you must feel.  I truly am sorry for putting you in that position.  It’s something that no person should ever have to go through, let alone someone as caring, compassionate, and selfless as you.  I will understand if you do not reply, as I alone have betrayed your trust thereby ruining any possibility of a relationship with you, friends or otherwise.  All I can say is that I am deeply sorry and embarrassed by my actions, and hope that you never experience anything of the sort again.
With deepest regret and sincerity, Adam
Ok so the letter was nice...although not nice enough...i hope you die
I guess with these experiences we learn that no matter how caring we choose to live our lives, there are always going to be people out there that want to hurt you, that want to bring you down. Maybe being nice is just too naive and stupid of me. Maybe the only way to get somewhere in life is to bring others down...hmmm something to think about 


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