JusMare

life...

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

so I found out sunday night that I was preggers
I first took a test on friday night which was negative
by sunday I still hadnt gotten my period and I was starting to feel pretty funny
everytime I stood up I saw stars...you know when you stand up really quick and everything goes blurry...well I've been getting that for minutes at a time
Sunday morning I had to run to the bathroom...well about 3 times throughout the night
the boy found it hard to believe so I had to prove what I already knew was happening to my body with another test
this one was positive...and then he too was positive
For some reason I thought I would be upset or mad when I saw the result but I couldn't do anything to hold in my smile.
I've never been so happy and scared and excited and confused all at once
Not confused if I want it but just if I can be the mom this baby needs
I'm obviously not financially stable enough to raise this baby
although my support network is amazing...i'm more and more amazed everyday by all of it
I know that mentally, I couldn't be more ready for this baby... I know that no one will love it more than I... I know that I could not have chosen a better daddy for him... and I know that no matter what, I would already die for it.
Keeping it was the only option for me, the hardest part about all of this is going to be the nine months I have to wait to finally see his face.
My parents are about the only people in the world that don't know about it yet... I figure I'll give them one more good holiday before I drop the bomb
I was thinking about names today...I know what you're thinking:
"Mare you've already known for a few days, you should have first and middle picked out already..."
so what do you think of these ones?
Zachery
Isaiah
Isaac
Jonah
Christian
Sebastian
thats all i've come up with as of yet so please help me out!


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